DIARY

DDMMYY


25.03.20

The gyms have closed, so Im going to try to get into calisthenics instead. I think it'll also be better as:

Its cheaper

It probably offers more in fitness, as it requires more flexibility and coordination

I dont need to travel to a gym, since what little equipment that is possibly required, is very affordable.

I've also buyed some skin products. Ive always struggles with my skin looking bad, so Im going to try to clean it up.






14.03.20

I didnt message my agency after all. I just outright quit.

My reason for this is:

Im not sure if the agency wil ease up on the work-time. I rather want to use that time studying. By far my most important priority is to pass the up-coming math-exam. I can always get other part-time jobs, but I wont get another chance at this exam.

If I quit now, I have more time to find another part-time job. I probably wont search for one before I've passed my exam. But I'll still be on the look-out in case something very attractive appears.

I can get other part-time jobs. I can get one after I've passed my exam, I can a job while Im studying (If I think I have enough time for one), I can get one during the summers.






13.03.20

I'm wondering if I should quit my job and not give a shit about notice periode.

The issue is not really that I work too much. In my contract, it after all says that I will work a maximum of 20% in a periode of 1 year. So sometimes I work lets say 70%, and then have a large amount of free-time. For example, not long ago I had 3 weeks with no work. That dosent make up for the time I've worked up to now, but I'll probably have a lot of free-time later.

However, one problem is that Im going to only work for half a year (as im going to university next year). So what might happen is that I work a lot these 6 months, and even tho my free-time should've been pushed to the other half of the year, I wont get to experience that free-time, because I wont be working there anymore.

So by this, its completely lawfull to make me work lets say 60%, on a job that should be 20%

But the real issue with my job, is the specific kindergarden Im working at. The kids are absolutely awfull. They call me names, make fun of me, throw snow and toys at me, and punch me. I cant make them stop. Im not passive, I talk loudely back to them, but they just think its fun to make me mad.

The kindergarden makes me want to quit the job. Whenever I get a call for working there, I get physically sick, and want to throw up. Most times when I come home from work, I just go right to bed and lay there in the dark. Im not tired, but I just dont want to do anything. I just want to lay there in peace. Then I lay there until the next day when I go to work again.

This weekend I've gotten a call to work there a full week. Im going to message my agency which Im working at, and tell about how I feel. If I they say something like: "Because of time constraint, It'll be to difficuilt to cancel your assigment there on monday. But after monday we'll find a solution", then I'll just quit later on sunday. Not a damn chance Im working there on monday. I should've probably messaged them earlier, like on friday. But Ive been conflicted about what to do. On Friday I was damn sure that I was going to just quit, but today I've thought some more about it.

What Im thinking is that it can also get akward. It might seem like Im incompitent. I mean, the children dont treat the other workers like that, so they might think it has something to do with me. But it really dosent. I dont know why the kids at that kindergarden are like that. It can also get kind of akward with other workers there. They might have to talk to the other kids about the stuff they do, and the workers will probably give me tips to what I should do (even tho incompetency is not the issue).

I'll send the message this night, as I dont want to be bothered by a calls right now. On sunday my agency will see it. I'll probably get a call where I have to talk about my situation, which will basically just be a repeat of what I said in the message. If I get told to work there on monday, I'll quit, but not right there and then. I'll say its fine and that I can do the job on monday, and then late on sunday, I'll email my agency and say I'll quit, and just ignore all phone calls and messages.

If they come with a proposal after I quit, or they come with the bargining chip of me agreeing to meet up despite not meeting up, then I'll just ignore them.

It would be a pity If I have to quit my work. I've already worked there for months, and its actually a kind of fun job. Its varied, and most of the time I just sit around the children building lego or whatever with them. I mean, in what other job can you just sit around and build with lego?

The only thing is that Im not too social, I come off kind of akward, which makes me look nearly autistic compared to the other workers, but Im still completely able to perform my job.

Its just the specific kindergarden Im working in right now that makes my situation so bad.

So I'll just sum up what my plan is, and what will happen in the different scenerios.



At 23:00 Ill message my agency and tell them about my situation.

On Sunday I'll either get messaged back, but more probably get a call, just because of the severity of my treatment by the kids. So It'll be more socially and proffesionally appropriate for them to call me. I dont really want a call, I'd rather just get a message because its easier to go throught stuff on text, rather than in speech, and because Im also kind of socially retarded.

After this, one of two scenerios will happen.

Scenerio 1

They tell me to work there on monday, with the reasoning that itll be difficuilt to get someone else to work there, as theyll have to do this in a single day, and on a sunday.

If this happens, I'll agree to work there on monday, but later on on sunday, late at night, Ill send an email saying that Ill quit. And then Ill just ignore all phone calls and messages.



Scenerio 2

They find a solution which involves me not working there on monday.

They'll probably contact the kindergarden and tell about my situation, and maby also talk to different workers in the agency which I sometimes work with there.

On monday, they'll take it up with other workers in the kindergarden, and the kids there (in an effort to make them behave differently.

Many of the workers will pity my situation, but they'll probably also think of me as incompetent. And they'll think of me as a burden, in that I will have more of a responsebility to make sure that Im not getting bullied by the kids, and will also have a social and proffesional pressure to watch over me.

Maby that'll happen, or they stop giving me assigments to work there, and instead only give me assigments to other kindergardens.

But after all, I can continue working there, I can earn money, and I can list my time working there on my CV. For example one issue with just quiting, is that I cant write of my work on my CV, and so It'll look like I did nothing for nearly a year. If I can continue, this wont be an issue.

Now lets talk about other things.

Im really excited for the snyder cut, cant wait.

Im also really excited for Neon Genesis Evangelion 3.0+1.0. Im just a bit confused about where to watch it, and when it'll be realeased (if it hasnt already).

My programming is coming slowly along. I havent worked on it too much, due to my work in the kindergarden, and just in general not having so much time.

I've learned more about positioning in a GUI, and Im trying to learn more about how to make my applications have more function.

Right now Im trying to develope a "To-do and planning" application, and an application thatll have it so I can search after words by using tags.

Ive been working out for 2 weeks. One issue is that the gyms have closed again due to corona. Ill try to figure out a calisthetics work-out program.






22.02.20

Things im doing right now:

Learning Java

Learning web development (so HTML, CSS, JS)

Weight-lifting

Math-studying

Im also trying to get a driver's license, so Im reading up on that too. However, since Im doing to much, I have little time to do this. But Im going to try to catch up in this area.

When Im not doing anything, I watch 90s and 80s animes.

I also have a part-time job where I work 60% (three times/week). It markedet itself as a 20% part-time. But because of corona, and it being winter which leads to sickness, I've had to work a lot more than 20%. I hope the times goes back to how much I originally intended to work there, because there is no way I have time to work there 60%.

If youre wondering what Im working as, I work part-time in a kindergarden. The job isnt really meant for me, as its a pretty social job. In sosionics terms/MBTI terms its a pretty Fe and Si job (there are lots of xNFPs and xSFJs there). So Im struggling a bit. But oh well, it just is what it is. And at least Im getting payed.

Im not going to use linux after all. I dont want to back up all my files. And if Im correct, there is a lot of stuff to learn when using linux? And I dont have the time for that at this moment. I could do it after Im done with my math exam, but not right now.

Another thing I wanted to get into was crypto speculation. However, Im struggling with coinbase. To use it, I have to use either a driver's license (which I dont have), or use a passport. The problem is that my mother has my passport, and if I ask for it, Im probably going to get asked what Im going to use it for. And what should I answer then? I want to "gamble" with crypto? So right now Im trying to come up with some kind of excuse.






09.02.21

Ive been training for some days now. It has gone nicely. On monday I did my chest, today (thuesday) I did my back, and tomorrow Im going to do my legs.

I have been getting ragged on by my familiy for working out. Because of corona (being in a public place, like a gym, increases risk for corona), and because it costs a lot of money (for food and membership).

But imma still go ahead and continue. Lifting is always something Ive wanted to get into, and as an adult I do whatever the fuck I want to anyway.

I've also tried to download Sims 2, however, my pc dosent have enough space. I bought a 4TB HDD, but I cant play the game from the external HDD. Oh well.

My programming is coming along. Tomorrow imma research more about programming. Ill try learn more about buttons, and maby Ill look into some project, like creating a flip book or a calculator. The language I'm learning is java.

I think Im also going to start investing in crypto, as it would be nice to have some passive income on top of my part-time.

Im also waiting for new wireless headphones to arrive, and a 32gb USB pen to which Im going to use for linux.






05.02.21

Ive been drinking some beer. I should definetaly drink more often, as I get to feel very bubbly and fun inside. I should also eat less popcron.

On sunday imma try to work out with lifting weights. Itll be fun! Also my math studying is getting along well. I understand the things I need to understand.